Thursday, April 05, 2012

Thursday Thought - Blogging...

"Orange phoenix" by Vitaly Alexius Samarin 

 ...has been something I enjoyed the few years I was consistent with it. I feel that I ran the gauntlet of public opinion in "the time before" Facebook here on this blog although that was not the intent of this blog. I created this blog back in 2006 at a very trying time of my life, a time of immense personal growth. The only commitment I made when undertaking this project was to myself, (yes I know you thought I was writing this for your benefit, Ha!) and that was that whatever was posted here would be positive. What better way to combat the negative than with something positive right?

 Well those of you who were regulars here may have noticed the diminishing posts and probably figured that life just happened and that there was more pressing things to do with my time. Which it did in fact happen. That sadly was not the reason I stopped blogging. I stopped because in my eyes my life situation became quite difficult to find something positive to post about. I went through a series of failures, legal battles and health problems during the past 20 months. For not having kept up with this blog, you can call it what you will, lethargy, self-pity, downright negativity and you would probably have me pegged.

 Recently a dear friend was telling me that the miss reading here and it got me thinking... that then led me to revisit here and I spent sometime reading through my archives and came back to the understanding of why I had blogged so fervently before... and I started to miss that part of me that had died. The desire to seek that positive moment in each day no matter how hard a day has been, and when finding it to take the time to write it down, to record it and to throw it up here on the site and send it out into the world, not knowing who it might find or what it might mean to them.

 I choose the painting above to try and capture the feeling I have as I try to regain that part of me that has been missing. The part that strives always to be positive. I have always had an easy time seeing the funny things in things and sharing them with others. I remember sharing with a group of my friends back on New Year's eve of 2000 that along with being known for the funny things I was going to make it my goal to be known for being positive as well. I truly did become that person... then lost that part of me these past two years.

 So at the core of this blog my promise to make it positive will remain. Since I am trying again to find the joy in myself that I used to have, I have decided to take up this blog once again. And although I am maintaining this blog for myself... I am doing it here to share with you in hopes that I can bring you a smile. And the only promise I will make to you... is that this blog will be like it was and hopefully that might bring you a smile.

 P.S. Don't forget to leave comments...

5 comments:

Luz Alemana said...

so good to have someone say what I needed to hear. Thanks Gabe for being back "on the horse", and I am so happy it is a brown one, not black...jejeje.

Gabe Rucker said...

AH LUZ... the first comment in 20 months, I knew would come from you. Ha! And I changed the color just for you cuz' I want you to visit often.

Luz Alemana said...

so sweet of you! I feel all special now! Yes, I will check on you regularly...

Amber said...

Good for you Gabe! I'll be reading. I know things will get better for you! Love you!

Anonymous said...

Gabe, reading this made me so happy! We've all had our struggles the past year-plus, but you and Olya probably more than most with your particular circumstances. I've admired your faith, patience and perseverance greatly, and I am happy to see the sun breaking through clouds. It will indeed be a brighter tomorrow, I firmly believe, and my prayer is that you and your family will live the happiness and fulfillment you deserve. xxx! Dawn